One thing I have learnt in the last weekend, is that breaking friendships at this age feels like ending a relationship. I feel angry, that I haven't been understood, and that i am expected to be in the wrong when i know im not (I admit we didnt really go the right way about confronting it but thats not to say my point is wrong.)
The last time i can remember falling out with a friend was back in school, with my very long term best friend Lauren, and that was a petty thing that was solved overnight by posting a cute pink letter through the door with an apology and a proposal of a dog walk after the simpsons.
If only things were that easy now.
I have also come to learn that mental illnesses are much out of my comprehension, I don't think i will ever fully understand the clutches it has on a victim, as I have never had the experience.
So as selfish as it sounds, through my lack of knowledge I am completely unable to feel the necessity to immerse myself into caring for a friend. Caring as in the term of the person being completely reliant on me/us as her only source of socialism, and the potential of me having to put my life on hold at this crutial point of my life.
The future plans we had together would have inevitably ended up in this situation and would have pushed us all away in the end.
So im kinda glad its all being brought up now, as hard as it is, it was going to happen sooner or later. I just hope I can still salvage some kind of friendship from this ordeal.
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